Zant Got Run Over By A Reindeer
by The All Real Numbers Symbol
Summary: Because everyone loves stupid song parodies. This time it’s a parody of Grandma Got Run over By a Reindeer. Dedicated to my friend Dragon Girl, who likes the Legend of Zelda.


From the studio that brought you "The Winx Club Twelve Days of Christmas", "The NCIS Twelve Days of Christmas," and "Sora the Keyblade Weilder" comes a new Christmas "classic".

**Zant Got Run Over By a Reindeer**

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**Summary: **Because everyone loves stupid song parodies. This time it's a parody of Grandma got run over By a Reindeer. Dedicated to my friend Dragon Girl, who likes the Legend of Zelda.

**Rating:** K plus

**Disclaimer:** Eggnog! (It's a fun word!)

_Italicized_ equals flashbacks.

Underlined equals song.

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It was time once again for Princess Zelda's annual Christmas Party. Held every December 24th, enemies and allies alike came to the party at Zelda's castle.

Everyone except one person.

"I wonder where Zant is," Ganondorf told Zelda.

"I know he was here last year," Zelda said. "Let's go find Link; he'll know."

The two of them wandered across the ballroom until they found Link and Midna.

"Have you guys seen Zant?" Zelda asked. "I know I sent him an invitation to the party."

"After what happened last year, I don't think he'll be here," Midna told them.

"Why?" Ganon asked. "What happened last year?"

"Link will explain." Midna said as she elbowed him forward. "In song."

Link scowled at her. "Thanks, Midna." He muttered sarcastically.

Zelda and Ganon stood there, waiting.

"Alright." Link sighed. "It goes something like this:

Zant got run over by a reindeer 

Walking home form Zelda's castle, Christmas Eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

But as me and Midna, we believe.

He'd been drinking too much eggnog.

"_Hey Zant, you want some eggnog?" Skull Kid asked._

"_No thanks." Zant replied. "I don't like eggnog."_

And we begged him not to go.

"_Hey guys I'm leaving now." Zant said to Link and Midna as he walked towards the door._

"_Whatever." Midna replied._

But he forgot his medication

"_What!" Zant protested. "I'm not taking medication."_

And staggered out the door into the snow.

When we found him Christmas morning

At the scene of the attack

He had hoof prints on his forehead

And incriminating Claus marks on his back.

Zant got run over by a reindeer

Walking home from Zelda's castle Christmas Eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa.

But as for me and Midna we believe.

Now we're all so proud of Midna

She's been taking this so well.

_When Link and Midna left the castle the next day, they found Zant. Midna promptly broke down into a fit of laughter._

She her in there watching **Home Cooking Channel**,

Drinking eggnog and playing Brawl with her friend Saria.

It's not Christmas without Zant.

"Sure it is," Midna interrupted. "It'll just be a happier Christmas."

Everybody's dressed in black

Zelda glanced around. No one was wearing black. She shrugged, then turned her attention back to Link.

And we just can't help but wonder

Should we open up his gifts or send them back?

"Let's open them." Ganon suggested.

Link scowled at him. "Quiet. You're ruining my song."

Now the goose is on the table

And the pudding made of fig.

And the blue and silver candles

That would just have matched Zant's rather freaky mask.

I've warned all my friends and neighbors

Better watch out for yourselves

They should never give a license

To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves. 

Zant got run over by a reindeer

Walking home form Zelda's castle Christmas Eve

You can say there's no such thing as Santa

But as for me and Midna we believe!

"Did you really have to sing that?" Ganon asked.

Before Link could answer, the ballroom door opened, and a very irate Zant stormed over to the group. "You know, it wouldn't have killed you to take five minutes and dig me out of that snow bank." He said as he pointed at Link.

"Are you going to stay for the Christmas party?" Zelda asked.

"No I am not going to stay for the Christmas party. I'm gonna go home before I get run over by another reindeer." With that Zant turned and headed for the door.

"Is that a reindeer antler stuck in your back?" Ganondorf asked.

Zant paused a moment, then reached around and yanked the thing out of his back. "Ouch." He exclaimed as he pulled it out. He looked at for a moment before admitting, "Yes." He tossed it to the floor and walked out of the room, then out of the castle.

A moment later, the four of them heard sleigh bells, followed by, "Ho ho ho!" This was followed by Zant's scream, and then a muffled thump.

"Something tells me Zant was run over by a reindeer again." Ganon noted.

"Should we go dig him out of the snow bank now?" Link asked.

"Well that would be the **nice **thing to do." Midna said. "But I think we should all go get some more eggnog and forget we heard anything."

"I could use some more eggnog." Link said as he tipped his empty glass upside down.

"Then it's settled. We won't worry about Zant until tomorrow." Midna decided. "Now, let's get some eggnog."

"Weeeeee!" Navi, who had been floating in the background for the duration of the song, squealed happily, excited by the prospect of eggnog.

"Alright, Navi, you can have some eggnog." Link acceded. "But only a little bit. I don't wanna be kept up all night by a hyper fairy again like last year."

And with that, the five of them left to find more eggnog.

~ **Meanwhile, Outside…**~

"Umm, guys? I could use a little help out here." Zant called from inside the snow bank he was buried in.

Back in the castle, Midna held her cup out so Zelda could fill it with more eggnog. "I'm glad Santa gave me what I wanted for Christmas this year."

"What?" Zelda asked.

"Nothing."

**Fin**

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**T.A.R.N.S.: **This is a Christmas gift that I wrote for my friend DG. She doesn't like Zant. That's why I ran him over with reindeer. Yeah...

I was warned people might not like this fic, so now I'm wondering if I should post it or not. I'm going to. Please don't be _too_ mad at me.

And, please review and tell me what you thought. (Flames are accepted.)


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